Review of House of the Long Shadows (1983) by Ian B — 31 Oct 2017

Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, John Carradine. Those four names alone are enough to get any horror fan's attention, but put them together in the same movie for the first time and you get something.

..painfully average. Aside from seeing these legends share the screen, House of the Long Shadows doesn't have much to offer. The story is weak, the pace is slow, it's not scary, and watching Desi Arnaz Jr's "acting" is as painful as a root canal.

The big names don't show up until the second act (and even then don't get a ton of screen time), which means we're stuck watching Arnaz read bad dialogue off cue cards the majority of the movie.

Yes, he's so terrible he almost kills a movie with four of the greatest actors the genre has ever known. Thankfully it's not all bad news. House of the Long Shadows does have some terrific old dark house atmosphere, complete with creaking doors, secret passages and non-stop thunderstorms.

Cushing, Lee, and Carradine all shine in their roles, but it's Price who gets all the best dialogue (and laughs). Unfortunately just as soon as the movie starts building momentum, it unleashes an incredibly lame ending on us.

I can't stress enough what a joy it is to see these four share the screen, it's just a shame they didn't have a better script and supporting cast for their one and only get-together.