Review of House of the Dead (2003) by Becky J — 01 Jan 2009

Ok. It's ludicrously awful, but come on, Ed Wood anyone? Someone has to be out there, making the world's worst movies, if only to serve as whipping boy for the rest of the film industry.

The film is atrocious. It's truly awful. But it's also fun, if you're drunk that is.

I don't know. I mean, movies like this have to exist and while this movie is fucking awful, I don't see it as any worse than the other end of the spectrum, the bloated, big budget, hollywood whatever-the-fucks, I mean, I'd rather George Clooney stop directing movies than Uwe Boll.

That being said, I couldn't finish this relatively short movie because I wasn't drunk enough and it was like watching the cool kids from high school (YOUR high school) trying to act really, really genuinely, so genuinely that it's the phoniest shit you've ever seen, but no one will tell them because they are so attractive, watching them fight off rejects from Michael Jackson's "Thriller".

I mean, it's like Boll obviously put some effort into it, just why put in the effort in all the wrong places unless you're some kind of artistic genius whose trying to destroy the video game community's artistic credibility one film at a time.

I look forward to trying to watch more Boll films, if only to try to make some sense of the insanity. His work is a straight up cultural anomaly, because unlike the evil, worthless duo behind Epic Movie and Date Movie, there actually might be something to Boll, just what, I have no idea.