Review of House of 1000 Corpses (2003) by Gerardistheway — 07 Aug 2016

Say what you will about this film, but it accomplishes its primary goal--it entertains.

The influence of important horror movies such as "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and the low-budget B movies of the 1950s-onward is evident throughout almost the entire film, but that's part of what works for it. The style is too low-brow to look as clean and polished as a typical Hollywood-funded horror flick today, and so the inside (and exterior) of the Firefly house appears dirty and cluttered, as if several truckloads of garbage were spilled out of the floor and a gang of children were handed crayons and told to go nuts on the walls. But it immediately gives you a sense of how bizarre this family truly is (which the protagonists either don't seem to or don't care until it's too late)--which brings me to my second point, the characters.

Like so many horror movies--big Hollywood budgets or not--the lead characters, teenagers traveling cross-country to write a novel on offbeat roadside attractions, are completely and utterly forgettable, as well as stereotypical in their group roles--moron Jerry, frustrated leader Bill (interestingly enough, these two were played by a pre-fame Chris Hardwick and Rainn Wilson), fussy Mary, and Denise, who is so "final girl" designed that she might as well have it tattooed on her forehead. It doesn't take long for you to guess which of the characters are the ones to bite the dust first (except for one that actually surprised me the first time I watched this movie), and it shouldn't; they're not the ones that matter, but rather the various depraved and twisted individuals making up the Firefly family. Zombie's dislike for these kids and preference for his antagonists is evident the second the opening credits begin, before the former group have even been introduced, as the names of the actors playing the main Firefly members are displayed first.

These would be Otis B. Driftwood, played by "Chainsaw Massacre 2" actor Bill Moseley and easily the family's most completely psychopathic member reminiscent of Charles Manson (who is referenced early on in the film), Baby, the youngest of the family and one of its two female members played by Zombie's future wife Sheri Moon, and Mother Firefly, the the deceptively normal-seeming (relatively speaking) matriarch of the family played by Academy Award nominee and another cult-horror icon, Karen Black. Another character who is by far the most interesting one in the film and who may or may not be related to the Fireflys (no spoilers) is Captain Spaulding, the foul-mouthed owner of the Museum of Monsters and Madmen played by Sid Haig who also makes his own homemade fried chicken, who is seen early on in the film taking the law into his own hands and dispensing vigilante justice onto a couple of robbers who attempt to knock over his store (but not before humiliating them due to their supposed inexperience first). Spaulding is, in a sense, a physical representation of the movie itself--funny in some parts, scary in others, but always entertaining.

The story is nothing special, and in fact seems contrived from the most basic of horror elements--rainstorm, hitchhiker picked up, flat tire obtained through pre-set trap, teenagers forced to take refuge with killer family to await their car being fixed/the end of the storm, entire killer family set off by the idiotic actions of one person--but this also seems purposefully done, because the story is hardly the point of this movie; the point is the characters doing what they do, and Zombie showing off his skill as a visual stylist with constant switches between photo negatives and the picture in its original form. There are a few sup-plots that are resolved shortly after they begin, as well as a number of oddball scenes that seem stuffed into random places in order to provide something resembling comic relief and self-recorded videos of Otis and Baby intended to once again recall the Manson family, but there is so much else going on in this film that the plot is forgotten moments after it begins.

In conclusion, not the best horror movie ever created, but certainly not the worst. The cast, intentionally or not, nail their assigned roles to a T, and fans of Zombie's unique visual style should appreciate the film as it is. The two major complaints I can think of are the story, which as I said is take-it-or-leave-it, and a severe lack of Captain Spaulding in any and all scenes he doesn't appear in. All in all, though, this is a solid, entertaining movie that serves as a strong film debut for writer-director Rob Zombie and should satisfy fans of the horror genre and its horror-comedy subcategory. Heed my warning before you run out and watch it, though...This movie is not for everyone, and certainly not for the faint of heart.