Review of Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015) by Mike A — 17 Oct 2015

I remember when kid's movies had to be dark (Looking at you, "Secret of Nimh") in order for any adult to consider it relevant. Then a little company called Pixar (you might have heard of them) came along and decided that making a movie for children could also speak to the child in all of us.

*cue lute music*.

This is not Hotel Transylvania.

This is nowhere near Hotel Transylvania.

Hotel Transylvania does for kid's movies what Adam Sandler has done for comedy. Or better yet, it is the film version of the series "Stuff on Cats", which is to say that it's pretty epically pointless.

To humans.

To the universe.

There were many times where I had to wonder what the writer (Sandler himself and some other guy) was wondering putting this film together. To me, it's like they spent two years filming a trailer and when they realized "Holy sh��. We still have an hour and a half to make up!", they spent the next ten minutes at their urinals, spit balling ideas and splicing them together. What's up onscreen is a collage of terribly executed jokes which only the actor's children would find funny. I take that back. They were probably properly shielded from this mess. I did laugh three times, but that was at myself for expecting anything out of my life.

At one point, the vampire asks his nephew if he has to dance so that the kid would start paying attention to him and no, this is not a meta-wink at Sandler's current comedic career. It's worse. Unfortunately, this one line is the setup for the vampire to "get down" to a Flo Rida song. For reasons...

Because...

Sandler owed Flo Rida a favor? I wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. NO ONE WILL EVER BE SURE.

It was pointless, as was the necessity for this sequel in the first place.