Review of Hostel: Part II (2007) by Colson V — 12 Sep 2010

A movie with three hot female leads, and none of them are naked. That's the first indication of how awful this movie is.

Take out everything that was clever, scary, funny, original, and interesting about the first Hostel and replace it with dumb, horny college girls and you are left with Hostel 2, an unbearble and virtually unwatchable crap-fest.

Hostel 2 falls into the category of "Sequals to movies that should never have sequals" not because it couldn't live up to it's predecessor, but because Hostel had so many twists in the plot that in a sequal, you can point out similar aspects from the first film and know who is involved with this "Hostel program". When somebody tells you about a "magical place that sounds like Heaven" you now know that the person giving you this information is involved with the program and you shouldn't go there, a fact that wasn't known in the original film.

Another problem with Hostel 2 is the lack of interest and development in characters. While the group of guys from the first film weren't developed all that much, they were still entertaining, funny, and had great chemistry on screen. It was easy to relate to the guys and it added to the fear for their safety that we, as an audience, all share.

In Hostel 2, we are introduced to dumb-as-rocks and horny college girls that are incredibly mean to each other.

I wanted to see these women be killed in incredibly violent ways just so I didn't have to hear them talk anymore.

What happened to the character development from the first film? While the guys from the first movie were douchebags, they were likable douches and they represented how dumb yet entertaining us guys can get. In this installment, the women are flat out bitchy.

I'm not trying to play the "sexist" card but why even have women as the main characters? I'm pretty sure not a lot of women saw Hostel (or will even see Hostel 2), and coming from a dude, it's much more fun to see guys be light-hearted dicks to each other than to see retarded women be bitchy to other people. I don't know who this movie is geared towards mainly because of that sexist statement. Guys are much more fun in movies than women. If it's a porn than by all means, the more women the better, but I don't want to see them in a sequal of a movie that was fun because of the male characters.

Again with the sexism but let me ask you something: What's scarier? A guy running for his life and trying to escape, or a woman doing the same thing? Of course, it's the dude. The women just get annoying and will eiether get killed, or escape the dozens upon dozens of dudes with guns and weapons crawling around. It's dumb.I know all women hate me by now but that's my opinion. The guys from the first film were all likable and funny (they could also act too!). With these new women, they're incredibly unlikable, utterly annoying, and probably retarded.

The other thing with Hostel 2 that I had a problem with was the pacing. Much like the first film, it takes about 45 minutes until you finally see some violence. Those 45 minutes are spent "developing" these characters and putting them in situations that would earn the affection of the audience. Due to the annoying and sickening female characters in this movie, those 45 minutes of nothing-ness didn't gain any interest. No jokes were made to tighten the bond between the three friends, no humorous situations were provided to help ease in feelings toward these characters. Instead of laughing at how awkward it was that the guy sitting next to one friend, grabbed his thigh, we now get women making fun of a nice, quiet, nerdy girl. It's annoying.

However, once those 45 minutes of nothing-ness are over, the rest of the film should be a full throttle, intense gore-fest, right? WRONG! The first Hostel was, why isn't this one? By the 70 minute mark, I was playing Tetris on my phone. I couldn't tell you what happened in the end, mainly because it got too complicated, there was a lack of violence, and frankly, I just didn't care. Hostel was a thrill ride from start to finish with an incredibly intense climax. Hostel 2? Well, one of the main characters (forget her name because I didn't care), PAYS HER WAY OUT!

Yup, no escape for your survival, she just bribes them with money and she is free.

WTF?!?!?!!?

Wasn't this whole operation about getting off by killing people in the first place? NOT ABOUT MONEY!!!! It was a bullsh*t ending to a bullsh*t movie.

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I must say, however, the movie gets one star because it actually has the balls to kill a child. I'm sick of movies that show a child in danger but can't kill them. In Wanted, you mean to tell me that you can shoot the wings off a fly, but you can't shoot a kid running down the hallway? Whatever.