Review of Hospital Massacre (1981) by Jason D — 09 Nov 2008

If I may, I'd like to get on my soapbox and proclaim that Barbi Benton is a dirty cunt. In fact, anyone who has gotten famous by serving time as a Hugh Hefner girlfriend is a cunt. This is the only reason she got this role, though I'm betting a dick or two got sucked as well.

Anyways, back to Hospital Massacre, or whatever they decide to call it (the damn movie has like 20 names to it, even the copy I watched was called X-Ray). Ok, so a young girl is playing with her little boyfriend, and a secret admirer comes by with a valentine's day card.

It gets rejected, so the kid magically gains super-strength and kills the boyfriend with a coat-rack. Many years later, the grown up girl (Barbi Benton in a VERY unlikable role) is COMPLETELY unfazed with having witnessed such a brutal murder at a young age and living her life as a corporate climber who is needs to get check up results at the local hospital.

Once in the hospital, someone starts bumping off doctors and staff in order to give Barbi botched results that would lead her to stay longer in the hospital. I will say that the deaths are very nice, plentiful, and pretty bloody.

Also, Barbi caves in by doing what she should've been doing all along by laying down with her big tits hanging out and her annoying mouth shut in an overly-drawn out scene. If you're not an idiot, you'll figure out who the killer is IMMEDIATELY since they established his name at the very beginning and they don't even bother to change it when the adult kid comes into contact with Barbi.

Completely easy one for the kids watching this film.