Review of Home Alone (1990) by Filius S — 13 Dec 2015

Home Alone is the story of Kevin McCallister, played by a not-yet strung out McCauly Culkin, about the time he gets left behind by his family for Christmas. For some reason, everyone in the family hates Kevin... like they really rag on him for a lot of shit, and he's not even that bad of a guy. As the family is getting ready for their big Christmas vacation, they all take turns shitting on Kevin for being a normal 9 year old child, and have a blast doing it... oh and did I mention this family has like 20 people in it? It's borderline sadistic.

So, due to a sequence of serendipitous events, Kevin gets left behind on Christmas, while the family jumps on an airplane, and because they're all assholes they don't even notice until the plane takes off. Meanwhile Kevin wakes up, and notices everyone is gone and is like "fucking sweet". Not having to take any shit from anyone, he decides to chill, and do cool shit all the fucking time, totally not giving two and a half fucks about anything. But then, Joe Pesci, and this other guy named... walt (?) or marv (?) or something, I dunno - they play bandits who are up to no good, and they're start a little trouble in the neighborhood. They decide to jack up Kevin's house, and it's up to Kevin to hold down the fort. If you've seen the end of Skyfall, they pretty much ripped off the second half of this film, but if you haven't.. let's just say his plan rhymes with scooby ... craps.

TL;DR - 8/10.

This movie is a classic. Culkin has an inordinate amount of screen time, but absolutely smashes his performance. The scooby craps are all fun, and imaginative, and watching them go off is a blast. The bandits do a great job providing additional comic relief, and because this is a G or PG rated movie, Joe Pesci's usual dialogue is replaced with him going "raggle, scraggle, ruffle, duffle" anytime he's upset (it's pretty amusing). The movie also succeeds as a Christmas film, with a side-plot that helps Kevin not to resent his family, and also teaches you not to be a dick overall.