Review of Hobgoblins (1988) by Eric W — 28 May 2012

Well, let's just say this film is a perfect example of bad movies. It's like Manos, kind of, but I actually find it worse. Thank you, MST3K, for finding bad movies and turning them into humorous masterpieces. But let's get to the review part after the meaningless plotline.

There's this group of 4 teenagers (who half are sex-addicted) and one of them (I forget his name, let's just call him Josh) gets a job at this old movie studio. Josh disobeys his boss and opens the gate to a forbidden room, where hobgoblins are held and, for the safety of others, locked up. Anyway, the hobgoblins soon do stupid, goofy things like driving golf carts and crap. Josh goes and hides with his friends (Amy, sex-addicted Daphne, some guy who is kinda nerdy, and army commando Nick, who is Daphne's boyfriend) in Daphne's house. It seems as if each Hobgoblin is destroyed, a bad thing will end. Bad things start to occur, like once-normal Amy stripping at Club Scum, where a Marge Simpson-esque girl embarassingly dances to bad music and the "tough" bodyguard smoking a cigarette nearby watches things. Soon, Nick, as a part of a Hobgoblin, starts to randomly throw grenades into Club Scum, with his army sarge watching happily nearby ("The best training he's ever had!" Nice going, sarge, killing your own people). Then, Hobgoblin stuff happens, some guy threatens to shoot everyone, and the entire movie set is blown up to rid the Hobgoblins. Great movie!

Okay, here comes the even longer review part. The movie was definitely total garbage, with terrible acting and the hobgoblins just look like puppets made out of things thrown in a dumpster. I only give the other half of the star because the movie was so well done by Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow. The only guy who made me laugh a little was "Josh's" elderly boss. For one, I don't think the 1980s were all just sex and partying, but well, in this it was. The constant use of it was just plain annoying. Second, Club Scum is just stupid. The use of jokes in the scenes where they go to the club (in one scene where the nerd is almost kicked out, the bodyguard says "Hey, I think the Polo Wearing Club is over there." HAHAHAHAHA!) The song used in the club is so annoying and too weird (as the MST3K gang cracks jokes, wondering what the song's title is, because the lyrics are almost impossible to translate). I just cannot express how much this film absolutely SUCKED. It's a hideous film that, according to an MST3K site, director Rick Sloane actually wanted to get the movie riffing treatment. 'Nuff said, film sucks, don't watch it.