Review of Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) by Kevin D — 23 Apr 2016

If you're anything like me, you get really excited when they bring your favorite gaming title to the big screen (personally, I'm still waiting for someone to bring Legend of Zelda).

Then there is that moment you think to yourself... "But what if it sucks?".

Well without ranting away on why video games usually suck when they come to cinema (Super Mario Bros, Resident Evil, Doom, Silent Hill, Prince of Persia, Max Payne, Mortal Kombat... actually I loved that one when I was 9), Hit-man unfortunately suffers from the same curse.

Let's just look at the film for a moment. First off, the film tries to set up the premise of the whole Hit-man franchise in about... 2 minutes. The problem with the sped up back story is that you have no time to digest this massive amount of plot... I know what you're thinking, "But they already covered that in the FIRST Hit-man movie with Timothy Olyphant!!!" Well hold on there a second. These movies are not even related. The plot for the first film in 2007 has nothing to do with this one. The only relationship is the title character with the bar-code tattoo and a murderous skill set. It would have been better just to make THIS movie based on the first 5 minutes of the film. It would have made a much better plot than the rest of this rubbish.

Action wise... yeah okay it's cool watching him shoot a bunch of people, but after his 100th kill it's a bit repetitive. 1 shot... 1 kill... repeat... blah.

Personally, I think it suffers the same problem as every other video game adaptation. In a game you control what happens, you bond with your characters, and you have to live (or die) by the consequences of your actions. This is just... forcing you to bear witness to a single series of events that are so... FORCEFULLY action-packed that you get bored pretty quick.

I suggest dusting off the old Playstation 2, playing the games, and discovering why Agent 47 is such a bad ass. It's his silent kills that make him such a bad ass anyway.

Thus, another video game suffers a dismal cinematic overhaul.

2/5.