Review of Hercules in New York (1970) by Justin H — 31 May 2011

Ah, "Hercules in New York," or as I affectionately call it: "A Day in the Life of Arnold Schwarzenegger." (Er, excuse me, Arnold -Strong- as I've sometimes seen him credited here.) On paper, the plot involves Hercules getting bored with life on Mount Olympus, and deciding to venture down to Earth in the early '70s--a fish out of water idea that seems to rear its ugly head every so often in Hollywood (think "Beastmaster 2," "Lords of Magick," etc., etc.). In practice, what we get is 90 minutes of Arnold wandering around, getting into fights with random people (and bears!), and making unsubtle sexual propositions toward women.

This movie is hilariously bad in parts (the bear fight for one, along with the fact that Arnold's voice is dubbed over, throughout), but unfortunately those comedic gems are awash in a sea of tedious talky scenes. And somewhat ironically, despite the silly premise, "Hercules in New York" manages to capture the overall feel of the Greek gods (even though Zeus is the only one who isn't given a Roman name for some reason), rather well. They're portrayed as petty, squabbling brats, flying into fits of melodrama at the drop of a hat--essentially giant children who can fling lightning bolts and such. That's always kinda how I viewed the Greek gods, and a big part of why I've never been terribly keen on Greek mythology...but I digress.

Long story short, there are some laughs to be found here, but the overall snail's pace of the film doesn't really make sitting through it to find them worthwhile.