Review of Hellraiser (1987) by M W — 23 Nov 2012

Pretty good overall. Horror is a genre that is not exactly like other genres (duh.) The fact is, you just can't get as much substance out of even the best horror movies as you can out of a black comedy or a drama or pretty much anything. Horror is comparable to something like romantic comedy. We must stop kidding ourselves that its anything more. So the standards by which I grade these is not the same as it would be for other movies because if it was, all horror movies would be flops. What I look for is basically a story that makes sense and good special effects. Set pieces, cinematography and sound are important too, all of which this movie did well.

In the case of Hellraiser, what makes it enjoyable are just a few simple but extremely well executed things. For one, the makeup and costumes are awesome. How much better do you want "tortured demons" to look? The first time we see frank and his transformation was great too. Compare the gritty slimy disturbing look of the partially formed Frank's stop motion animation to something like "Hollow Man" with all it's crappy clean unrealistic CGI rendering. Second, I think Doug Bradley was amazingly badass as pinhead. His voice sticks in your head. Especially that line "We'll tear your soul apart." Even though he was only in the movie for about 5 minutes he is what you remember most. He's iconic. He's on the movie poster and the cover of the DVD but he's not even one of the main characters.

I don't find any of this stuff actually scary but I like it in the same way I like Halloween. I appreciate it I guess. It's just visceral and emotional and fascinating, it's not really clever or informative or groundbreaking. Last are the other characters and the plot. It's really easy to follow. The characters and their motivations are very consistent. The tone of each scene is deliberate and clear, The step mom is bad. The dad is a goody two-shoes. The uncle is a total scumbag. And our protagonist is likable and relatable. Also, I like that they didn't try to blow smoke up our asses by stretching this out to a 2 hour or even longer movie. We don't need any additional back story or character development. I don't like movies like 2001 a space Odyssey that don't make sense on their own. That require additional research and interpretation and repeat viewings in order for them to make any sense. This movie was self contained. It was complete.

So, if horror is to movies as snacks are to food then Hellraiser is like Nacho Cheesier Doritos. If you're gonna pig out, they are awesome but don't be stupid and start analyzing the nutritional value of Doritos. Accept that there is no substance to it and just let it entertain you.