Review of Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) by Markb. — 31 Jul 2008

Hellboy (Ron Perlman) distrusts authority, is notably short-tempered at times, on other occasions is unduly worried about what people think of him, and he loves cigars, candy, cats and cerveza. In other words, Hellboy is not only MY kind of superhero but my kind of guy, and in as historically crowded a slate of superhero movies as 2008 has provided (the cleverly topical Iron Man, the surprisingly smart Incredible Hulk, the initially amusing but ultimately muddled Hancock, and the undeniably inteklligent and well-made but--excuse me while I duck!--overblown, overbaked and overlong The Dark Knight) his movie is absolutely the best of the bunch.

Much of the credit goes, of course, to ther unbridled visual imagination of Guillermo del Toro, who brought us the original Hellboy and the astounding Pan's Labyrinth; Hellboy II hits the groiund running by setting up its literal underground-rebellion story in the first few minutes with a remarkable wooden-puppet show, and it never lets up afterwards as del Toro's and his crew's incredible creature effects not only wonderfully blend the inevitable CGI with good old fashioned old school craftsmanship and hard work but leap over the arbitrary species/ genus/ phylum boundaries set in most special-effects movies; heroes, villains and in-betweens include plants and, in the instance of oner memorable character, gases (the individual fitting this classification certainly ACTS like a gaseous substance through most of the movie, too).

None of this would matter all that much, of course, if we didn't love the characters (and actors): Perlman's son of Satan who's now fighting for our side (even if our side doesn't duly appreciate him) is appealingly tough-and-tender; he's Bogart with a crablike arm and lobsterlike complexion.

His flame-prone girlfriend Liz is played by Selma Blair, a sardonic beauty whose charm is largely generated by the observation that SHE (wrongly) doesn't consider herself very attractive. Best of all is Doug Jones (the superb pantomimist who in Pan's Labyrinth brought a whole new meaning to the term "hand-eye coordination") as Hellboy's semiaquatic sidekick Abraham; in the first Hellboy, del Toro had David Hyde Pierce supply Jones' voice, and I don't know why--nothing against good old Niles Crane, but Jones demonstrates here that he's perfectly capable of speaking for himself.

This movie really scores in areas where last year's Spider-Man 3 was only partially successful; it's both a terrific action movie AND romantic comedy-drama. Hellboy II is all about the wildly operatic (especially when liquor-fueled) feelings we have for those we're in love with, and the grand sacrifices we're willing to make.

All this leads to the current leading contender for The Best Movie Scene of 2008, as classical buff Abraham and rock-loving Hellboy express their feelings for (and frustrations about) the women in their lives by downing a few brewskis and baying along to Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You".

(By the way, isn't it interesting that while nobody will admit to liking Manilow, scores of movies--e.g., Keeping the Faith, You Me & Dupree, Can't Hardly Wait, etc.--repeatedly play or reference his hits?) This endearing and extremely funny sequence encapsulates why Hellboy II, a popcorn movie that values characterization as much as action, is much of a keeper as it is; it may not be a film for all time, like Pan's Labyrinth, but it's certainly the perfect superhero movie for THIS time.