Review of Hellborn (2003) by Steve M — 19 Mar 2004

Right. I have just posted a couple of 10/10 reviews, so I thought it time to even the balance.

I find it hard to write much for this. I do so only out of public-spirited generosity. Heed my warnings. If you don't want to read on, here is the short review:

Garbage.

And the longer one:

This movie is quite astounding in it's lack of quality. From the 'Power Rangers' style monster (ooh, his eyes are fiery, help me mummy), to the cast who appear to be rejects for the nonspeaking part of 'Doctor's 3rd assistant' on General Hospital, to the nutchokingly lame story and desperate plot devices this film is shit.

The only reasons it gets '2' is I rather enjoyed the hammed-up basement-dwelling weaselly bloke and a couple of other bit-part madmen: "They're gonna get me Doc! Don't leave, they come at night"..etc...

I won't even bother with the confused notion of the psychiatrist performing autopsies, or the horrible lack of coherence of the pointless plot 'twists'. It's terrible. Don't watch it, even for fun. It's not.