Review of Hell Ride (2008) by Andy K — 02 Jun 2012

Each one of the 80 minutes this film is on for is a test of how many criticising phrases you can think of.

It's simply a vehicle for the director / protagonist to act out his own fantasies which include the film's only retribution (naked ladies).

This silly Larry Bishop fellow tried too hard to make his own Tarantino film but failed on a scale only his acting could match.

To sum up the film in a tragic but realistic way, David Carridine and Dennis Hopper (the two biggest stars) both died soon after, probably as a result of the part of brain that produces shame being enlarged.

The only other best thing about this extra smelly skunk-shit was Micheal Madsen, but following this he did Big Brother, which speaks for itself.

I paid under £3 for this flat, metallic, disc of piss from Tesco, which is more than the writers deserved to have been paid.

There will always be something better on the telly than this, if not, paint something a bland colour and watch it dry, it'll be more rewarding.