Review of Heathers (1989) by Shane D — 09 Mar 2011

"Whether or not to kill yourself is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.".

This is black comedy at it's greatest, and may I add, a personal fantasy of mine since junior high. Seriously, who doesn't want to kill jock assholes and stuck up rich bitches? It's a shame the plot of this movie didn't become a fad (except maybe with Harris and Klebold). And the dialogue in this flick is a piece of eighties artwork. So many quotable lines. I remember, after I saw Beetlejuice, I had a bit of a crush on Winona Ryder. Well, after seeing this I fell in love. This is a must watch for anyone out there who was ever shit upon by the popular schmucks who stalk the dimly lit hallways of your local high schools. And for those of you reading this who were those schmucks, I humbly ask you to go drink some fucking drain cleaner. We don't need you.