Review of Hatchet II (2010) by Johnny T — 17 Oct 2013

You want gore, you get gore. Hatchet II plays less like a slasher movie than like the highlight reel from a slasher movie. This time out, Green is not as self-aware, devoting a solid hour of his film's 90-minute running time to pre-mayhem character development so witless and dull that Hatchet II might as well be "Friday the 13th, Part 14."Every boogeyman and slasher cliché this movie borrows was better somewhere else. Although it probably wasn't grosser. This is basically an excuse to watch skulls crushed like melons, guts ripped from body cavities and torsos halved. And such things go on with relentless and disgusting regularity. We don't care about any of the characters. They're just video game obstacles to be dispatched as graphically as possible. The movie is never as cheeky or as fun as Green thinks it is, but he tries with all his might. The sequel suffers from lamentable acting, murky cinematography and, for the most part, lamely unfunny dialogue.

VERDICT: "Not So Hot" - [Negative Reaction] These films are truly terrible films. They are not the worst things ever made, but they are definitely awful and should not be seen by anyone. (Films that are rated 1.5 or 2 stars).