Review of Hatchet (2006) by Joe C — 06 Jan 2012

To get one thing straight, I love low-budget horror. I find it more of an art form than other styles, and I love the DIY feel you get from a good B-movie, in place of the cold, emotionless feel of more mainstream, high-budget-low-inspiration films that hit the box office. Put it this way, I would rather watch The Evil Dead than the Americaâ(TM)s thoughtless adaptation of The Grudge any day. That may be why Hatchet, as one of these B-movies, surprised me.

To say it is a bad film would be an inconsiderate overstatement. I found it wholly watchable, even enjoyable. The intro was incredibly kinetic, and grabbed me instantly, and the soundtrack was a great choice. Also, the appearance of Robert Englund told me exactly what kind of film this was going to be, (one of the only things saving âJack Brooks: Monster slayerâ?). Of course the film does start to deteriorate past the midway point, and you start to get the feeling that it is slowly sinking, rather than building up to anything. Yet it still remains watchable, right to the grim, Friday the 13th-esqe, ending.

What surprised me about Hatchet however, is that it made me want something I have never wanted while watching a film of this genre. I wanted to see it on a higher budget. I thought it couldâ(TM)ve been a great film if a lot more money had been put into the camera shots and scenery rather than the gore, but to keep the gore wouldâ(TM)ve been a bonus, so yeah, bigger budget. It feels like it has been imagined by a big-time Hollywood director who has seen Friday the 13th and (yes Iâ(TM)ll mention it again) Jack Brooks: Monster slayer, threw all of his money away and said âletâ(TM)s make one of thoseâ?. It doesnâ(TM)t feel like a fully accomplished B-movie. I have purposefully not mentioned the production team as to back up this impression. Having said that, the gore is good and the carnage well placed. I even cringed a few times, especially when Crowly gets out his belt sander.

The movie has some likeable characters, and some very unlikable. However the performances given by Joel David Moore and Tamara Feldman keep the picture chugging along, dragging most of the other actors behind. While they appear the only rational characters in a frustratingly irrational crowd, I got the impression that the acting process was also much like this. Of course low-budget horrors always have their over-actors and comically bad actors, but I found myself getting genuinely annoyed by some of those involved in this picture.

But as for comedy, Hatchet does deliver some hilariously unexpected laughs, and had me actually laughing loudly to myself once or twice. These are genuine jokes too, not just using over the top gore to comedy effect like most would. But as I said before, comedy and the intention of a campy B-movie horror flick isnâ(TM)t always enough to keep a film afloat. Hatchet lacked the soul and charm of its predecessors, while still managing to be a decent night in, drink-when-someone-dies movie. Iâ(TM)ll give this one 3/5 because I enjoyed it so much more the second time around, when I knew what to expect. If you have watched it once to great disappointment, give it another go, it may surprise you.