Review of Hard Target (1993) by Andy H — 03 Jun 2011

This is a guy flick. Maybe some chicks dig JCVD, but I think he's probably more of a dick magnet. I invite feedback on that issue.

I am very disappointed in the majority of reviews I've read by the flixter community. There is something I dunno, offensive about the lack of respect for this AMAZING SHINING JEWEL of an action flick. The Louisiana locations, the twangy music, the exploding gasoline can motif, the motorcycle stunts... I could go on.

Cinematography: top notch. Did they storyboard this movie? I really doubt it. There was clearly magic happening on the set of this pic. The climactic scene takes place in a warehouse full of grotesque mardi gras floats.

Van Damme: I never gave a shit about him. Always seemed second rate. Did he have a stuntman? No, I don't think so. The man moves like a combination of Bruce Lee and Mikhail Baryshnikov. The fight coreography is top shelf. Punchy and deeply satisfying.

Plot was irellevant for the most part. So I won't even bother to elaborate. Who the hell pays attention to the plot at a fucking ballet? It's about the music and the dancing.

And the director of this fine exploding ballet? Hong Kong director John Woo in his Hollywood debut. I always admired his Hong Kong work, especially The Killer. This flick tops it by a wide margin.

All of you who talked shit about this movie are full of the same. Shit that is. You are all full of shit. Now go back and view this movie on a big screen with a loud sound system. Tell your girlfriend to STFU and get you a burboun. Watch this motherfucker and bask in its glory. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Also: Wilford Brimley, and the chick is hot and emptys a full magazine into a dude's junk.

That felt really good. Thank you for your time and have a lovely day.

Sincerely yours,.

Handy Ighland.