Review of Hard Target (1993) by Terrence N — 11 Aug 2009
Van Damme's greasy mullet is the entire movie. When you think "Hard Target", you don't think John Woo's first American film. You don't think goddamn is Yancy Butler weird looking.
You don't think hey there's that guy from those shitty Mummy movies and Lance Henriksen playing his hundredth menacing bad guy. You don't think of the diabeetus guy doing a terrible cajun accent.
You don't think of the action scenes that are almost a parody of John Woo's already ridiculous style. The only thing about this movie worth thinking about is that slimy glorious mullet I'd love to run my fingers through.
Haircuts can make or break films. Mel Gibson's mullet in the first three Lethal Weapons is legendary. Mission Impossible 2 is by all accounts a movie for fuckheads but Tom Cruise's hair begs to differ.
Van Damme punches a snake in the face and surfs on a motorcycle but the mullet conquers all. JCVD doesn't have an ass shot in this one and I didn't care, the mullet is more than enough.
This review of Hard Target (1993) was written by Terrence N on 11 Aug 2009.
Hard Target has generally received positive reviews.
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