Review of Hancock (2008) by Ethan J — 24 May 2017

'Hancock' was directed by Peter Berg and stars Will Smith, Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron. Thanks to his alcoholism and lack of charm, Hancock(Will Smith) is despised by the public despite helping a lot of people. This should all change when he meets PR Manager Ray Embrey(Jason Bateman), who wants to make Hancock a fully loved superhero.

This movie is just not entertaining. If you enjoy this movie then fine, enjoy its poorness but don't come to me and say 'oh its an in depth character study of what its like to be a superhero' because I will punch you. Very little other than Smithy's little hamster legs are keeping this movie spinning, and little other than him make this movie even remotely watchable. The story is poor, the acting is lacklustre, none of the characters are even remotely likable or interesting; it's just a really shabbily made movie. I will say that the lack of a central villain(other than Captain Hook) was this movie's primary downfall. Movies can be great without a strong villain('Iron Man) or even a villain full stop('Cast Away') but for a movie like this, I feel like one was necessary and the inclusion of a more prominent one would have been to this movie's favour. If you feel the need to watch this piece of sweaty cheese, I cannot stop you but I definitely recommend you avoid it at all cost.

The story was so bland in this movie, and so forgettable. It was incredibly dull and its ending sucked. They tried to add more lore in one scene that there are pages in the Qu'ran.

One thing that no one can take away from Will Smith is how charismatic the guy is. He could make 'Schindler's List' an even funnier comedy just by being there. Hancock, on the other hand, is a worthless waste of space who contains no redeeming qualities and is just unlikable. He could have been written so much better, to the point where I actually care about the public liking him. As much as I like Jason Bateman, his character was very one dimensional and any attempts to make him multi-dimensional failed miserably. Charlize Theron was also entirely one note throughout the entire movie. She was angry the entire time aside from those precious moments were a character shows 'Emotion?'. Preposterous! Movies aren't about emotion. They're about slow motions lumps of fat bounding in the wind, alcoholism and The Rock. Who needs acting and emotion and WRITING AND ANYTHING THAT MAKES A MOVIE WORTH WATCHING!!!!!!!!! Jae Head was pretty weak as Aaron and served no purpose to the 'plot'. There were little to no character motivations and any attempts at them were entirely contrived and didn't need to be there. My main flaw with this movie is that Hancock has no real opposition. Movies like THIS require villains with more complexity than CAPTAIN HOOK. Go back to Netherland you handless, green tight wearing waste of space.

The cinematography was awful. The editing was abysmal. Facebook live videos are better shot than this. I least the camera is straight in them. It's clear that Berg went to the CGI Fetish Anonymous meeting with George Lucas because it's just awful in this movie and is used so frequently. Lucas and Berg like poor CGI more than Hitler loved baking. The costume design was very bland and the set design was very generic. It was a very technically flawed movie.

The action in this movie was atrocious. The humour was terrible and even 'some kinda Suicide Squad' couldn't 'white people that ****'. It failed to set up the characters well and all world building was terribly done.

In conclusion, I despise this movie and I can't comprehend how people like it. The story was generic. The acting was very poor. The characters were very weak and there is little in this movie to hold it above complete and utter failure. Run little Smith, run because if this movie catches up to you, you're gonna be Facebook living the 'Squad'.

2/10.