Review of Halloween Ends (2022) by Luciusmcgibbon — 19 Oct 2022

This movie is like waking up on Christmas morning to a Festivus pole.

Two warnings... A) You must have no pre-existing love for Halloween movies or Michael Myers if you expect to draw the slightest enjoyment from this movie... because there is absolutely no love for them behind the camera.

B) If you expect this movie to resolve any of the story so far or reward you for any of your investment in the last two films (which were OBVIOUSLY the New Hope and Empire Strikes Back of a larger story) then prepare to have the bluest balls you have ever had. Imagine if Return of the Jedi totally ignored the running story and time-jumped to some unknown Ewok who turns to the dark side for 90 minutes, then dies, and then for the last 15 minutes it's like "oh yeah, and here's Luke-Vader II, RIP Palpatine lol, and Han made it out safe we guess whatever f--k you the end.".

The sheer drop in competence from 2018 to this... it's actually impressive. They just froze and gave up as if they forgot how storytelling works. FIRST you finish what you started, THEN in a few years you try your little alternate Michael-verse side-quest concept crap. They really thought they could just take us for a ride, kick us out of the car two thirds of the way there and go off-road.

For me, this movie doesn't exist, and the series ended with Kills... Evil never actually dies, Michael is home, Laurie pays the price for letting the evil obsess her.... It's not entirely satisfying, but it's light years better than this steaming nowhere pie.