Review of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) by Definitelymayb — 12 May 2017

It is vital when giving **** to DC films (cause they have been rubbish) that one also apply the same standard to any Marvel endeavors. When we do apply the same standards, it is rather sad that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 is a rubbish mediocre plotless mess that tarnishes the brilliance of the first one. In a few months time, the wool will be pulled from the fanboys eyes and they will realise they have seen a dud. The biggest problem with this film is that it is overly generic and lacking any real plot. 1) Let me tell you that this film doesn't really have a plot until maybe end of the middle section. The film is so poor that it often signposts what the characters are going to do next, becasue they literally have nothing driving the plot. 2) Action is rubbish in this film. The film literally has the worst generic action scenes with Drax the Destroyer having all his action scenes in the beginning. If you thought the generic battle scenes in Suicide Squad was bad, then Vol 2 tops that by having spaceships and energy tentacles as the main threat - honestly so fricking boring. 3) The jokes are pretty hit and miss. Whereas in the first one they had all these clever well crafted jokes, Vol 2 feels like something Amy Schumer stole. The film is so unfunny that the characters do most of the laughing for you. The film force feeds you a joke every two minutes expecting that what you paid for, except, most of it is dry and you would need to have a brain of a 9 year old to enjoy it.

4) Dialogue is pretty much signposting. Characters will randomly tell you their backstory or what they feel at different points with little context. Whats worse is that it adds literally nothing to their characters (that we didn't know before). For example, *SPOILER* the main villain tells StarLord he put cancer in his mum for no reason whatsoever, all to drive that vengenance element. 5) The music is average in Vol.2 and like Suicide Squad, they just put a random track every 5 minutes like an overdrawn music video. Most of the music was forgettable as well. 6) The themes of the film are poorly set up. I knew there was going to be a father-son relationship and was looking forward to it. However, all of these themes are jammed in at the end and there is little reason why anyone should care because they never set it up properly. 7) The characterizations of the heroes are inconsistent. In one scene where Gamora falls off, StarLord just stands there and watches her fall despite the fact she is his lover and he had those rocket shoes. Gunn deliberately did that so that Nebula can save her (to fufill that sister arc). This is poor writing and just makes all the thing set up redundant. The good things with the film is the cinematography and acting. Colours are vibrant, and the actors are working to their best of their script. However, this doesn't detract the mediocrity of everything else wrong with this film. If you like seeing a long Marvel commerical, then Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2 will be your bread and butter. However, this is by far one of the most boring and poorly written film thus far this year.