Review of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) by Thechampsvoice C — 23 Sep 2017

If you're a creationist you may or may not love this movie, depending on how out of touch with reality you actually are. If by chance you're a semi-recreational believer in a debunked theory that god and the snow elves made Christmas in seven days which means the earth is approximately 6,000 years old then you might enjoy the theological aspects of the movie, along with its exploration of how something can exist where nothing once dwelled. On the other hand if you're a hard core everyday creationist this might take you over the edge into believing that baby Groot is the second coming of Jesus and Sylvester Stalone is a reincarnated John the Baptist.

I thought I'd just get that out of the way, you have been warned.

Guardians Vol 2 has to be judged by its own merits, and by that I mean it has to rigorously stand up to the standards set by the first, which in my opinion it does quite nicely. It's a very funny movie with a soundtrack to match the original. The characters are all very unique and if you're discovering them for the first time you'll enjoy their Marvel abilities and quirky sense of humour, not too unlike Deadpool if one was to look for a comparison.

There are some awful bits of course, the constant relationship whinging, some implausible action scenes, the annoying storyline in which every character seems to have parenting issues, gold raced space pilots who can't fly spaceships, and an ending so unbearably cheesy that it made me think the movie was completely ruined, but I projectile vomited and remembered this movie was for the creationists and I shouldn't judge them for their stupidity.

What this film does very well is open with an action scene, shot from the musical perspective of the Baby Groot, who continues to bring some adorable and hysterical scenes throughout. There are some gritty space deaths, emotional outbursts (not Stalone's one but other ones), and enough rocket moments to make this an entertaining movie, all in all it stacks up as a great cinema experience with stunning visuals and great characters. As a marvel space movie it's worth a watch, even if you are of scientific mind, just ignore the usual ignorance for the laws of gravity and don't be too concerned about the wholesale alien interbreeding by the universe's most god like Caucasian male who just wants to bond with his chosen son, who just so happens to be American, it's a coincidence, the universe is a big place anything could happen, infinite possibilities, somewhere there could be a universe where the earth is actually no more than 6000 years.....no wait scrap that thought....that's still irrational.

?

I am Groot.