Review of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) by Wiscojoe — 29 May 2017

Volume 2? More like Sophomore Slump. The genuine heart and humor that made the first one so refreshing has been replaced with weirdly casual violence, rampant cruelty, flippant misogyny, and off-putting "jokes.

" This is a movie for teenage boys who can't tell the difference between glib and glitz, between innocence and immaturity. The overbearing "family friendly" corporate sheen imposed on top of the cultural rot (Aw, adorable baby tree that you can purchase for $9.

99!!!) just makes he whole enterprise feel even more cynical and depressing. Watching this movie, I felt like I was at one of those high-pressure sales pitches where suckers get promised free vacations but end up being sold worthless time-shares in the swamps of Florida.

I might be willing to forgive this films' soulless nature if it was at least entertaining and funny, but it's not. The jokes land with a cringe-inducing thud as the cast alternates between desperation and obvious boredom.

The story is... honestly, not sure because I barely remember it. Let's just say it's quite an achievement for a plot to be both monotonous and nonsensical. Aesthetically, this is by far the best looking Disney-Marvel film to date, which isn't saying much.

The special effects are cartoony but still impressive, and the cinematography transcends the normal network-TV blandness that has became a hallmark of the MCU. Still, I would have traded the improved production values for a memorable story or at least one or two solid jokes.

Save your time and spend the 2.5 hours listening to a classic rock radio station while staring at a lava lamp.