Review of Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) by Popcorn55 — 08 Jun 2019

OK so imagine that your immature buddy in 7th grade wrote a screenplay over the weekend for A/V class, based on a 1997-era video game. And they made that into a big-budget movie, word for word, with effects that look exactly like 1997 video-game graphics. That's Godzilla. It's just the most idiotic infantile thing you ever saw. Every lame, tired cliche from previous disaster movies is included like a recipe:

* Great big video-game monstas that move real slow and walk real loud;.

* Constant "SHOOM... SHOOOM... SHOOOOOM!" sound effects;.

* The gay-glasses-guy who wisecracks annoyingly but un-funnily all through the film;.

* The child who gets separated from parents and is constant danger;.

* Lame, blue-toned video-game CGI;.

* Separated family members screaming "NOOOO!" as they get separated;.

* The music and monsta-fight-noise stop politely when characters need to have an emotional talk during the crisis;.

* Explosions and massive flying objects moving WAY too fast, but somehow missing everybody;.

* Blubbering family reunion at the end.