Review of Godzilla (2014) by Wulfsuzaki — 18 May 2014

Watching the new Godzilla movie leaves you with a feeling like this; You’re a kid in the mall, and you’re parents promise you that ya’ll will go to the toy store while there. Then you walk around the mall going to all the stores parents go to. You even PASS BY THE TOY STORE two or three times! And you’re craning your neck to just get a peek at what’s in there while your dad is pulling you down the hall away from that place of child heaven, with all the colors and things to touch that don’t break so easy. Then after visiting every store that is not the toy store, and your legs are swollen and tired, and your parents are ready to go, a not so gentle reminder stomp of the foot and accusing scream sends the weary group to that wonderful place. You get there and suddenly your legs are no longer tired, you could run and jump for a life time in this place. You fly to the action figures and pick up a Ninja Turtle and no sooner have you determined that you are holding Michelangelo, do you hear your parents say that it is time to go because the store is closing. WHAT KIND OF BULL CRAP IS THAT!!!??? Yes, “technically” you went to the toy store. Even went inside and touched a real toy. But it feels like the promise was broken. That’s what this new Godzilla is like.

Back in “Th’ Day” there was a commercial with a little old biddy driving around to different fast food restaurants (McDonalds, Burger King, etc) and she’d pull up to the drive-through and say “WHERE’S TH’ MEAT!?” It was an advertisement for Wendy’s because their meat was square and you could SEE it. It was also implying Wendy’s meat was thicker. So with that bit of background memory, I say,.

“Where’s the Star!?”.

The movie is named Godzilla. It’s a reference to the most famous monster of all ‘Kaiju’ Monster films. One would think with all the hype and attention and – oh, because the movie is named “Godzilla” – that the star of the movie would be…well, Godzilla. Godzilla gets what feels like about 7 minutes for the whole movie. What IS seen of he-who-should-have-been-the-star (at the end of the movie), is really good stuff – but all that really good stuff is what was promised in the trailers and is what was lacking throughout the rest of the whole entire movie.

“Where’s the Action!?”.

It seemed like every time some action was about to happen, the writers would jerk their fishing rods and yank the audience as far away from the action as possible. It was as though they DIDN’T WANT the audience to experience being right in the middle of the awesome colossal fights. Power Rangers daily showed more action with the over grown monster battles.

Maybe I wasn’t supposed to go in thinking this was an action film. This was a suspense movie. I don’t mean anything like Signs, Odd Thomas, or…..well, I don’t watch suspense, because generally they’re in the Horror section and I HATE Horror/Suspense – for different reasons (though Odd Thomas is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen). What I’m saying here is – it was an action film built on a very firm suspense foundation. If you can’t stand the pains of delayed gratification and being let down in the end anyway – do not see this film.

“Where’s the Script!?”.

Speaking of script, it was as though the writer(s) couldn’t figure out between BBQ chicken wings or Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. What do those two have in common (besides being food)? Nothing. You’ve been waiting on it, so here it is – Pacific Rim. There I said it. A lot of people didn’t like Pacific Rim. A lot of people didn’t like the plot holes and floopy script. In my opinion, I think that’s what made it a better movie. The writers/directors decided they were going to make a Monster Mash action flick, and the story could work its way around the action. It was a fun, fast, brawling movie with things that made you think “why didn’t they do that to begin with!?”, and not really care because it had already been fun watching so far. I felt like Godzilla was started with that same mindset intended (work the story through the action) and then someone kept getting lost in story development and had to constantly be reminded to throw in action – which they would then rebel against to focus on their bad actors. If they were going to go with the full story script, then that’s what they should have done, but if they wanted an action movie, the script would have to take a side and just let the explosions and graphics do the rest. I’m not saying the script isn’t important, it’s just intensely difficult to do them both together and still make sense. The 1998 Godzilla had better developed characters (and acting) (and action) (and it had Godzilla).