Review of Godzilla 2000: Millennium (1999) by Derek M — 09 Feb 2008

Tagline for this movie: Get ready to crumble.

Yeah, with laughter!

This movie is in a league of it's own, as it completely transcends the 'so-bad-it's-good' type of movie, to create it's own niche of 'so-incredibly-bad-it's-fucking-awesome'. This is mostly inpart to the utterly stupifying english voice-overs and subtitles that I guess were crafted by people who weren't paid enough to even want to TRY to make them coherant. Hopefully the Japanese version actually made some sense, but if it did, they would be robbed of some comedic gold.

I have never laughed more at a movie in my life, but I don't hold it against the filmmakers, because it made for one goooood time, regardless of whether the hilarity was intentional or not. There are so many classic moments, including this gem:

Shiro Miyasaka: The recklessness of science gave birth to you, Godzilla. Why do you appear before us?

[Godzilla continues to trample through Shinjuku].

Yuki Ichinose: Because we humans gave birth to this monster.

Yuji Shinoda: Godzilla is... inside all of us!

Uh...what? And there countless other examples, but just watch and see for yourself.

I know they were trying to go back to the old school Godzilla with the rubber suit and the cheesy fight scenes with flying rocks, but in this time and age, the only place films like this belong is in the 'comedy' section at Blockbuster.

But for an hour and forty minutes, it provides the funniest film since The Thing. Wait...that wasn't a comedy either? Geez...

5 Toyko smashing stars.