Review of Gods of Egypt (2016) by Tyler C — 02 Mar 2016

I am appalled...and not at this movie which is exactly what it intended to be, but appalled at the high and mighty standards that critics have for a fantasy movie involving mythical creatures. Were you expecting Academy material?? Were you expecting Ben Hur and were disappointed that there wasn't a chariot race? Maybe not enough Morsi and Sisi? Oh oops, not those gods of Egypt. Seriously, it's a CGI heavy 'myth' movie with the Phantom of the Opera in a lead, calm your critical jets for one week please Top Chefs.

I'll just say it so it can sink in: I loved this movie. I loved every bit of the land and lore, the characters and the actors, the story and pacing, the action and the visuals, the alpha and the omega. This film is really like one of the large statues in it, full of wonder prestige. Yes maybe it is a little larger and gaudier than it needs to be to impress the crowds below, and so is a certain surprisingly successful Republican presidential candidate. But this 'gold laced tower' doesn't need to make huge political decisions, it just. needs. to. entertain. It's flashy, powerful, audacious, bright, imaginative, and beautiful. What's wrong with being confident? The story makes sense, it's not Machiavelli, but it's not hard to follow, it doesn't pretend to have a climactic twist or a brand new moral you've never heard of, it tells the story of several very interesting characters that troupe together through a beautiful re-imagined Egypt in quite a fun way. The world is GORGEOUS, simply gorgeous. How fun to follow a recently deceased character to the realm of the dead and to space where the sun God lives, and to truly see how much the film makers put into making the story interesting and teeming with Egyptian lore. Just like the characters, it never lets you sit and get bored. I could go on, but if you agree with me, it's a sermon to the choir, and if you don't, then well, there is no need to lay pearls before dung beetles.

When the story is about a magical fantasy world with gold blooded giants that can transform into flying minotaurs...how about you lean away from your Polo shirt, Tesla driving, nihilistic side and lean more into your sandal wearing, imaginative, 'Nile' side and just enjoy the art of many talented mortals.