Review of Gods of Egypt (2016) by Brenda K — 13 Mar 2016

Set in alternate, flat world Egypt, Gods of Egypt begins in a peaceful kingdom ruled by Osiris, who is about to turn the throne to his son Horus. Osiris' brother Set (Gerard Butler) then kills him and seizes the throne, turning the "mortals" or human-size non-deities into slaves who must now pay with riches to enter the afterlife. Horus, with the help of a mortal, Bek, plots to stop Set from the destruction of the kingdom and creation itself.

This film makes its poor quality clear in the first five or ten minutes. Bek helps Horus in pursuit of a better life for him and his lover, Zaya, whose terrific acting skills include jolting her head in all directions 6 times in one sentence. Set's architect is referred to as the "master builder", an appropriate Lego Movie reference since the film's artificial set and goofy premise has the look and feel of a 10 year old's Lego project.

Gods of Egypt is most known for having no Egyptians in the cast. Regardless of your view on Hollywood whitewashing, Egyptian gods with British and Scottish accents comes across as nothing but comical when watching the film. Horus' lover, Hathor, calls upon canine man Anubis, who has a British accent that made me expect him to ask Hathor if she saw the football last night. Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush plays Ra, god of the sun, and opens with "Birds that fly past my ship get killed before they can take a shit.".

If, like the British group in front of me at the cinema, your only good film requirements are abs for the ladies and breasts for the lads, this film is for you. Otherwise, give it a pass.