Review of Gods of Egypt (2016) by Quincytheodore — 29 Feb 2016

In the span of two hours of dreadful script and forceful plot, any glint of opulence can't save "Gods of Egypt" from being mindlessly numb.

"Gods of Egypt" asks an age old question, "Does flashy sparkle outweighs written words?”. Unfortunately for the two hours movie, its visual is inconsistent and the story has so many illogical flaws, that whatever gorgeous scenery it has would feel bland. Furthermore, the acting is sloppy, having less-than-charismatic characters mumbling cringe-worthy monologue for half its time.

This is the tedious story of Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), the supposed king of fictional Egypt where gods and mortals live side by side. He then finds opposition from his uncle Set (Gerard Butler). He then forms unusual alliance with Bek (Brenton Thwaites), a human thief with a single-minded drive for juvenile love.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gerard Butler are not bad, they have experience on this type of epic saga as Jaime Lannister and Leonidas, respectively. However, this also feels as though they are just going through the motion. Here they are shades, less appealing and more brooding version of their famous roles.

Bek as the other main lead is your typical charming hoodlum without the charm. His characterization is too rigid and any attempt to romanticized or deliver witty humor is instead annoying. The two leading females are too over zealously created for flamboyant melodramatic romance. There are a couple decent supporting cast such as Rufus Sewell as Urshu and Chadwick Boseman as Thoth, but they merely have small portions of spotlight.

The script feels forced to create any chemistry between the characters, however it often sounds like soap opera. Not to mention story line is plagued by awful plot devices. Being gods doesn't exemplify them from having sudden illogical and convenient twists, a few of these might be fine, but after half dozen times audience would appreciate more explanation than simple magic.

Visual is arguably pretty. At its best the movie offers some aesthetically pleasing scenes and the costumes worn as well as the set are very easy on the eyes. Still, among these beautiful people and vistas, it's not often to see it smeared by strangely subpar CGI, as though these are Transformers made from low budget production.

Tainted by shady narrative, corrupted visual and barren script, "Gods of Egypt" is mindlessly numb.