Review of Gods and Generals (2003) by Jason S — 17 Nov 2008

Let me get this straight: you have a movie based on a book that covers a period of time that starts with antebellum and ends just before Gettysburg, yet in the movie all you see is Stonewall Jackson, then Stonewall Jackson, then a little more Stonewall Jackson, then Stonewall Jackson playing with a little girl? Do these people realize that this is four hours of my life that I can never get back? Are these really the same people that made Gettysburg? Have they been living on a diet of doughnuts and crystal meth ever since? Where was the Seven Days? Antietam? General McClellan? Jeff Davis or Abe Lincoln? This films' only redeeming moment was the Fredericksburg sequence, and even that was a bit shoddy in my book.

There was more to that fight than just Marye's Heights. Also, the casting director needs to be hanged. Lang should have stayed as Pickett, Boxleitner should have stayed with B5 and not upstaged Berenger and Sheen should have given The West Wing the mid-west finger and come back as Lee.

It was good to see Mallon and Daniels back as Hancock and Chamberlain, respectively, but they should have been contracted to lose atleast 20 pounds or something. Why do I even bother? Ted Turner and Ron Maxwell need to be shot.

With a musket.