Review of Glitter (2001) by Eric J — 20 Nov 2011

Ummmm.... well it's certainly not worth renting... thank God I watched it on youtube. It's not that the premise was bad... there were some good intentions buried in there somewhere (and even a few good scenes).

The thing about "Glitter" is that everything about the plot is introduced by just the right number of scenes to let us know exactly what's going on, but it's like they tell us in Creative Writing class... show, don't tell. The movie is executed in way that is the equivalent of someone telling you a story over dinner... at the end of which you might say something along the lines of "Wow, that's amazing". But as a book it would be the reader's digest kind that you couldn't even give away, and as a movie... well, it's "Glitter". It gives us the gist and that is all. Nothing in between, no proper development, no reason to care at all about any of the characters, except for Billie's two best friends who are instantly likable.. (even if you don't remember their names...) and the cat (it's such a shame that the little fella didn't get more screen time). Sadly we care nothing for the love story between Billie and Dice... who are the heart and soul of the whole movie (unfortunately).

As for Carey's acting... She's actually not terrible. Not great, but I actually liked her during the first half of the movie... That is, before I realized that the problem wasn't the fact that she was unconvincing. It was that she was too tame and bland... the writers just forgot to give her a personality. She smiled, she giggled and was pretty much a robotic little "good girl" doll, which began to wear on me after a while. What that girl needed were some nice character flaws... and actual tear ducts.

You may think a two out of five is a bit generous, and perhaps you're right. I dunno... But I just want to say that the movie isn't really as bad as all that. I'd say that it has all the mediocrity of a below-average TV movie, that being said... it is pretty pathetic that Mariah's name is on it. An A-list celebrity in and C- movie (again... perhaps a bit too generous).

Overall, you really can't even call this a train wreck... It's just dull, and more to the point than it should be.The thing is, movies are not meant to inform. They are meant to show us things, make us feel things, and provide escapism. The closest thing to escapism you could get from "Glitter" is the need to escape watching it.