Review of Gigli (2003) by Mikko L — 14 Jun 2008

Gigli. The laughing stock of all the movies. Starring then the Hollywood's hottest item, J Lo and, what, B Afl? Huge box office flop. I started watching this movie with certain prejudice. I figured it might suck so bad that it turns funny.

It didn't do that to me. I do have to admit that B Afl sucked big time when he was trying to be a bad ass. Other than that, this was just a movie which you can just as well watch and not suffer bad.

There is this dialogue in this movie, which I take tries to imitate that of Tarantino, but it fails in that. Most all imitations are doomed to do that. Yet, I kinda enjoyed it. It brought back memories to me from when I was adolescent and tackled with issues and philosophies the main characters do.

And those issues pretty much include sex and being cool. For a non-native English speaker the dialogue was just dandy lesson of how to deliver an issue in an elegant manner. I do doubt, however, that crooks really use language like that which makes it kinda unnatural.

It seems to me also that it is unnatural, or at least not so easy, to turn a lesbian (J Lo's character) into straight. Or maybe that way, but not the other way around. Christopher Walken has a small role in the beginning of the movie and, much to my surprise, he is all grey.

His eyes, his hair, and his outfit. Al Pacino was also lured to this flick. His role isn't much of a role. But I didn't expect much anything else. He lost his talent after Godfather movies. His talent deflated in a direct proportion to his ego inflating.

The retard in the movie, he resembles Christopher Meloni. That's pretty much all I can say about the movie, because I missed the ending. I set my decoder to time it right, but maybe the programs were delayed, and my timer disconnected the recording before the movie ended.

I probably missed about 10 minutes of the end. I bet there was a closure. I bet Walken was involved in it. I bet Pacino didn't walk out of the charges he was facing unharmed. I bet the retard reurned to the nursing home intact.

And I believe that J Lo turned from a tuna turner to a straight chick, and those two lived happily ever after. Now missed the ending. And I - this is no joke - would like to have seen it.