Review of Gigli (2003) by Jacob B — 27 Nov 2017

So uh...just so you know...the trailer and poster are lying to you. The movie's not a light-hearted romcom. It's actually a black comedy with a premise that's a crossover between crime movies and Chasing Amy.

Al Pacino and Christopher Walken provide the best scenes in the entire movie but this movie feels inconsistent. This is because the movie was meant to be a 160-minute-long darker, less "romantic" crime story with more violence than that admittedly brutal headshot and Walken would've killed Affleck at the end.

But instead, Hollywood decided to cash in on Bennifer resulting in multiple rewrites. I can't say this movie is so bad it's good like The Room because I was mostly bored. I think this is one of the VERY few movies in which actors who are dating in real life lack chemistry in the movie that's meant to be about them falling in love.

Mild spoiler: Gigli, rhymes with really, magically cures Lopez's lesbianism later in the movie in no time flat. At least, there was a better sense of realism regarding a lesbian dating a guy in Chasing Amy thanks to Kevin Smith's smart script.

It's utterly offensive in its portrayal of mentally handicapped people as the National Treasure kid is told by Gigli to "act normal" even though he can't because of his "psychological defects" as his boss, I think, puts it.

What's with his obsession with Baywatch, though? Most of the actors outside of Bennifer are one-scene wonders. They do one scene, earn their paycheck and get high. Do you want to watch a nice romantic comedy that has Ben Affleck and LGBT themes? Go watch Chasing Amy.

Do you want to watch a movie about crime that involves kidnapping a prosecutor's mentally challenged brother easily? Then I'm sorry, because whichever way you view this movie, you lose either way.

Bennifer had better chemistry than Bennifer. Did you get it? Because he began dating that other Jennifer during Daredevil? I'm terrible at these wit games.