Review of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009) by Heather M — 05 Apr 2013

With G.I. Joe: Retaliation coming out shortly, it's time to review the first movie. G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra has an often ridiculous story, some really poor CGI, too many shallow characters for comfort, and an overbearing amount of action. But I can't say that I wasn't entertained. The movie works fine as a dumb action movie, which is exactly what it is...and what it should be.

We first meet soldiers Duke and Ripcord as they're escorting a case of nanotech warheads to safety. While on route, they are ambushed by the Baroness, whom Duke recognizes as his ex-fiancée Ana Lewis. Duke's team is outgunned and close to defeat, when suddenly, their lives are saved by the G.I. Joes. With the warheads still in their possession, Duke and Ripcord are taken to, 'The Pit,' the headcounters of the Joes. They join forces to defeat James McCullen and his endless supply of resources.

The cast is hit-or-miss. Channing Tatum gives a decent performance as Duke. This is a pre-stardom Tatum who only had modest acting credits before this movie. His acting is a bit raw and rough around the edges, but he isn't distractingly bad by any means. Tatum proves himself to be a solid action hero.

The rest of the Joe's are largely unimpressive. Dennis Quaid is very uninspired as General Hawk. He has absolutely no charisma. Quaid's Hawk does nothing to separate himself from all the other such characters. Marlon Wayans gives a useable performance as Ripcord, but his character has some of the dumbest moments in the movie. Rachel Nichols gives a fine performance as Scarlett. She is one of the bright spots in the cast. Sienna Miller is quite good as the Baroness. The plot line with her and Duke is the only thing that adds any emotional heft to the movie. Unfortunately, Tatum and Miller are not given enough time on screen as a couple to form much chemistry. A pre-stardom Joseph Gordon-Levitt is appropriately sinister as Rex/The Cobra.

The best parts in the movie are the undeniably fun action scenes. Sure these scenes are ridicules and frequent and drawn out, but what would you really expect from a movie based on a toy line. The sword battles between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are really fun...probably the most entertaining fights in the movie. The scene in Paris with Duke and Ripcord in the accelerator suits is also very cool. But the action toward the end of the movie becomes really stupid. When the movie moves underwater, the action becomes even campier and the CGI gets noticeably worse.

All in all, this movie is exactly the dumb fun you expect it to be. It's a movie based on a toy line, so obviously the movie isn't overly intelligent, and obviously there is plenty of action. Thankfully, most of the action scenes are loads of fun. It's not a good movie, but it did manage to entertain me. And for a movie like this, that is enough. The trailers for G.I. Joe: Retaliation are intriguing, and I'm expecting the sequel to be better than the original.

"Duke wasn't born, he was government issued." 6/10.