Review of Geostorm (2017) by Wayne K — 27 Oct 2017

A colossally stupid movie which is both emotionally limp and scientifically offensive, Geostorm is another dime-a-dozen disaster movie in which humans are at the mercy of nature, but still manage to find time to be selfish and idiotic.

Gerard Butler, armed with permanent stubble and an inconsistent accent, is the one-man army who is dismissed, recruited and eventually becomes a hero who saves the world, just one of many rote platitudes this film is composed of.

It's a Frankenstein's monster of grating clichés, hackneyed dialogue and cardboard-cut out characters. It might be too much to ask for sense or logic from a director who co-wrote a movie in which a skyscraper-sized lizard managed to disappear several times in New York City, but I spent an increasing amount of time wondering if the filmmakers had even taken a second to think about what they were doing.

It does so little to earn our sympathises that the composer is forced to put together what is likely the most heavy-handed score they've ever done. And speaking of heavy-handed, we've had plenty of movies which tried to push an environmental agenda, but rarely has one done it so lazily and with such little nuance.

We know what the morale is going to be, but are still forced to an endure a summary narration which reads out, essentially, the message of the film in bullet point form. I laughed plenty of times, but never when the film wanted me too.

It's an inauspicious start to Dean Devlin's directorial career, but considering he's be involved with the same kind of movies for decades now, there's a good chance we'll see more dreck like this from him in the future.