Review of Garden of Eden (2008) by Anthony R — 20 Dec 2011

Ernest Hemingway's novel 'Garden of Eden' was published posthumously (25 years or so after the author's death) and after the film adaptation was made it set on a shelf for a few years before somebody found a worthy-enough reason to release it (I don't know what that worthy reason would be as the film is frightfully awful and I can find nothing redeeming with it whatsoever).

The film's title lets the audience in on the secret that it is BEYOND bad as its director, John Irvin (Widow's Peak, Hamburger Hill), tried to salvage the wreck and give it some prestige by emblazoning poor Ernest's last name before the title of this trashy piece of junk.

David Bourne (Jack Huston - Outlander, Factory Girl, 'Shrooms) is a young, American writer living in Paris who hasn't found much success with his pen when he meets his future wife Catherine (Mena Suvari - American Beauty, American Pie, Domino) -- a wealthy, restless, adventuresome, domineering troublemaker whom is EXTREMELY un-likable (three minutes into the film I hated her .

.. how Mr. Bourne pursues her and than marries her is beyond comprehension). She pouts and whines and cries and bullies and invents bedroom role-playing scenarios that are disturbing to say th least. On an extended honeymoon in Spain, the pair inhabit a rather isolated cottage complete with a few supporting characters (oh -- "the help") that allow Catherine to manipulate and test her husband's devotion.

Thirty-minutes into the film you realize you can care less about ALL of it ... and I just waited for it to be over. The movie has a very B-movie feel to it and parts of it play-out like cheap skinemax erotica-wannabe.

To avoid even harsher criticism, I'll simply conclude with "there is nothing good here" -- that way one can this out to be as bad as he/she wishes.