Review of Furious 7 (2015) by Al K — 21 Feb 2016

So, I finally sat down to watch this movie on cable and yup! This 2 hour long car wreck was as bad I thought it would be, and even stepped it up (or in this case, down) some. From the gratuitously lame pop-culture references and clichéd rotten cheese dialogue, to the plastering of "hot-bodies" in clean beaches and bling-bling mansions because "reasons"...and oh yeah I almost forgot all those explosions, falling buildings, and totaling car collisions that by some miracle just about EVERYONE walks out of alive, with no more than a few "pretty cuts" on their faces. (It did at least manage to have a plot in there...somewhere.) Its one blessing was that it reminded me why I don't bother going to the theater often anymore.

In short, this stink-bomb of a so-called flick was like a two hour long MTV video that was directed by Michael Bay.