Review of Friday the 13th Part VII - The New Blood (1988) by Cody C — 16 Oct 2016

Jason rises again to stab, slice and sever the partygoing youths of Crystal Lake. This time, he stares down with a fellow supernatural: Tina, a troubled young woman with telekinetic abilities and an equally tragic history with the location.

Points for shaking up the formula a tad, but this gimmick is just as ham-fisted and overplayed as everything else the series has tried to freshen itself up. Along with Tina's bad floating-toaster act, we still get the requisite amount of shallow teenage stereotypes - boring characters who don't really deserve their fate but certainly won't be mourned - and magical Jason hide-and-seek performances.

Once again crippled by the censors, the kills are all cut short, and without those frequent, bloody, money shots to rely on, there's really no reason to bother tuning in. This entry's final surprise - a callback to the first film that's already been aped once or twice before - is so snort-inducingly bad I can't believe it actually got the green light.

Stupid, toothless, time-wasting schlock.