Review of Friday the 13th (2009) by Chads. — 13 Feb 2009

Jason takes a hostage. "Friday the 13th" is short on surprises, but that's a divergence from the norm, right? Jason may be an unrepentant, cold-blooded killer, but at least he doesn't play games with his victims.

Compared to the killer from the "Saw" movies, that practically makes him Mother Theresa. You can't call this mama's boy compassionate, but at least he never gives his teen prey any hope.

With machete in hand, the killing is over and done with in a jiffy, then he sets his sights on the next nubile(or dude) without ceremony. If there's such a thing as good slasher etiquette, Jason could start his own finishing school for homicidal maniacs.

Structured like a trilogy-in-one(the film has two prologues, or rather, two short films), the final girl in the second part survives his bloodlust rampaging. If the filmmaker had the artistic latitude to try something really different, he could have used Jean Cocteau's "Beauty and the Beast" as a template for this hypothetical relationship between Jason and the girl.

An affinity for Whitney(Amanda Righetti) is suggested, but never fully realized, largely because the main demographic for "Friday the 13th" are fanboys, who would probably balk at their anti-hero displaying an unprecedented sensitive side.

Since Whitney is alive, she must be receiving sustenance from her goalie-masked captor; the filmmaker, however, decided to keep all of the girl's meals and met hydration needs off-screen. To do otherwise, would force the filmmaker's hand into showing that Jason has some deep-seated humanity left, somewhere in his black heart, contrary to the mythology of this inexplicably popular franchise.