Review of Friday the 13th (2009) by Joseph M — 16 Jan 2012

A remake of a classic film that spawned a handful of terrible sequels was always doomed from the start. However, when the writers do nothing new with the idea at all, in fact dumb it down even more than it already is, the film is destined to not only be doomed but also help to kill off the slasher horror film forever.

It's Crystal Lake. Jason Voorhees is stalking the old camp that used to be there. Terribly disfigured, he hides behind bandages (and later a hockey mask), forever the offspring of a murderous mother who went on her killing rampage after thinking her son had drowned.

Soon arrive a group of dope smoking, drunk 'teenagers' who want to camp at the lake, party and have sex. Jason doesn't like them being there and does the thing that everyone else wants to do but doesn't have the machete for it.

The remake of 'Friday the 13th' is so bad that you almost wish you could be impaled in a large spike for having watched it. Terrible script, terrible story, terrible acting. Even the deaths scenes are dull. They say you should keep away from Crystal Lake. I say keep away from this film!