Review of Freerunner (2011) by Christopher H — 14 Mar 2013

This item has explosions on the cover which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I watched it , that's when the magic happened. After watching this movie , I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the movie in hand and was immediately approached by a women.

The women knew from the explosions on the cover that I, like a freerunner, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'Kong to Cat' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth.

I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a freerunner movie shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my movie case would show.

While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the explosions on my movie case, I told her I wanted to kong precision her breasts.

She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you "Freerunner" Pros: Rewatchability is 10/10, has explosions (And Dylan Baker) on it, attracts women.

Cons: Only 2 explosions (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see explosions on the case in the dark, Dylan Baker dies in the trailer for this movie.