Review of Freejack (1992) by Zahran Z — 08 Jan 2011

"Alex Furlong died today. Eighteen years from now, he'll be running for his life.".

"Don't let the future pass you by.".

"Time flies. But to survive the year 2009, he'll need to move a lot faster.".

Bounty hunters (Mick Jagger, Esai Morales) from the future transport a doomed race-car driver (Estevez) to 2009 New York, where his mind will be replaced with that of a dead billionaire (Hopkins). Also features David Johansen as his former manager, Rene Russo as his former gril friend, Amanda Plummer as a helpful Sister, and Jonathan Banks as Hopkins # 2. Pretty scary when their future (2009) is already our past....

Ian McCandless: Welcome to my Mind.

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Alex Furlong: Give it up, Vacendak. You couldn't catch a cold. You couldn't catch the clap in a whorehouse!

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Michelette: How would you feel if you'd been dead a day and a half and someone brought your more bad news?

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[after watching Furlong jumping to the river].

Victor Vacendak: you drink any of that, I'll be out of a job.

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Hungry Diner: If you keep looking at me, you'll see me kill you.

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Alex Furlong: What... no applause?

Victor Vacendak: Show's not over yet.

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Alex Furlong: How'm I doin'?

Victor Vacendak: Not bad.

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Victor Vacendak: Box him in and run him down, but be gentle... I want him WITHOUT A SCRATCH.

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Victor Vacendak: Get the meat.

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Newswoman: So how do you like it here?

Alex Furlong: [drunk] I don't. Everybody's chasing me.

Newswoman: What is it they all want?

Alex Furlong: My body.

Newswoman: Mmmm...

[to the camera].

Newswoman: self-absorbed type.

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Michelette: Why, Victor, who do you think you're talking to?

Victor Vacendak: I know who I'm talking to Mark...

[Tosses Michelette's expensive Faberge Egg to him; it breaks].

Victor Vacendak: ... an asshole.

Michelette: [Slams broken egg onto desk].

[Barks].

Michelette: Get out!

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Nun: [after being slapped violently] The Good Lord always says to turn the other cheek.

[Swings foot up, kicking Michellete in the groin. Michellete moans in pain].

Nun: But he never had to deal with dickheads like you.

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Nun: [Aims shotgun at Alex] What are you and what are you doing here?

Alex Furlong: I don't know what I am... or where.

[Whispers to himself].

Alex Furlong: Maybe I died. What was it they called me?

Nun: Pathetic?

Alex Furlong: No.

[Looks up to her].

Alex Furlong: A freejack.

Nun: [Gasps] Holy shit.

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Alex Furlong: This your truck?

Pickup Man: Company's.

Alex Furlong: [Whips out firearm] Not anymore.

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Alex Furlong: [Being pinned down by gunfire] We're trapped.

Boone: What do you mean 'we', white man?

[Smiles].

Boone: Just kidding.

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Alex Furlong: [Discussing the future of their relationship] What about us?

Julie Redlund: "Us" was eighteen years ago.

Alex Furlong: It's two days for me. Two days, Julie.

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Alex Furlong: How the hell do you eat river rat?

Eagle Man: Well, first you gotta cut off the head and the tail, and then you gut it. Then it's all a matter of the sauce. You don't just plop down a rodent on a plate and say here's your river rat would you like red wine or white with 'em. Not that there's any wine around here anyway.

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Alex Furlong: Man, if it's come down to this. What's the point?

Eagle Man: He Riddles me. The ancient riddle: "What's the point?" Have you ever seen an eagle flying back to his home with dinner for the Mrs. and all the little eagle babies. And he's flying against the wind and he's flying in the rain and he's flying through bullets and all kinds of hell, and then right at that moment when he's about to get back to his nest, he says, "What the fuck, it's a drag being an eagle" and right then two little x'es comes across his eyes just like in the old fashion cartoons. And he goes plunging down, and down and down and BAM. He's just a splatter of feathers and then we don't have the national bird of America no more. Did you ever see that?

Alex Furlong: No.

Eagle Man: Me Neither. Eagle's got too much self-respect. How's yours?

Time Travel Technician #1: I wouldn't dance to it, but that's a pulse.

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Julie Redlund: Let him go Mac!

Ian McCandless: Sorry, Ju it either him or me.

Victor Vacendak: Too bad, I got used to him, I don't make a lot friends in this bussiness.

Alex Furlong: Who said be friends.

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Earnhart: [commenting on another failure to bring in Furlong, while both standing in a lift] I have a feeling the client's going to be really pissed!

Michelette: When I want your opinion, I'll give it you.

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Alex Furlong: [Inebriated during a television interview] I know someone who's trying to bring me in. Goes by the name Vacendak.

[Grabs interviewer's microphone].

Alex Furlong: Well, I got a special message for you.

[Imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger from Terminator].

Alex Furlong: Fuck you, asshole!

[laughs].

Alex Furlong: No one's bringing me in.

[Knocks camera aside].