Review of Fool's Gold (2008) by Jeff B — 12 Aug 2010

After this piece of cinematic gold had spun off of its spool (and this is said with tongue planted firmly in cheek, dear Reader), this reviewer encountered two middle-aged gentlemen ruminating on Fool?s Gold while at the urinals. ?What d?ya think?? said the 1st. ?Oh?cute,? said the 2nd. ?Yeah,? agreed the 1st. ?Real cute stuff.? And it was then that this reviewer discovered that, sometime in the last two decades, the American Male may very well have been emasculated. So it came to pass that ?cutesy? not only defined an overlong, recycled rom-com but the poor souls so beaten into submission by countless years of marriage that they THINK they actually like overlong, recycled rom-coms.

In the PG-13-rated romantic comedy Fool's Gold, a newly divorced couple (McConaughey, Hudson) is brought together in pursuit of sunken treasure.

And no, Fool?s Gold is not the worst thing at the Cineplex (that, dear Readers, would be Meet the Spartans). There is just nothing new here. McConaughey and Hudson have a definite chemistry but the trappings are too elaborate. There prove to be too many supporting characters. For a comedy, the movie proves to be too long. And yes, coupling moviegoers are willing to invest an ample amount of time on a date movie?but only if they haven?t seen it already. How much would you pay for this harmless smooch-fest? A bickering couple who falls back into love? $19.95. A treasure hunt compromised by a villain and his murderous thugs? $29.95. Two men single-handedly neutering every guy?s manhood? Priceless.

Bottom line: Don?t fool yourself.