Review of Firestarter (1984) by Del T — 10 May 2010

A total train wreck. Stephen King's exciting, explosive 1980 novel gets thrown into the garbage heap by 80's schlock action overkill director, Mark Lester , who has the ability to pull off cheap thrill goods ( his next film would be 1985's Commando ), but gets lost here, staging not even remotely interesting fiery carnage.

Plot ? Black ops division of the government ( ie CIA ), drug tests hippie couple to give them ESP. " The Company" soon discovers hippie couple has a kid who's become a human flamethrower, as she nears puberty. They want Drew as a weapon, Parents resist. Mom gets whacked, and Daddy and Drew go on the lam, toasting baddies in their wake.

The only element of KIng's novel that the movie gets right is George C Scott's creepy, borderline pedophilic performance as psycho hitman, The rest is an overlong, pretentious time waster. An embarrassment for everyone involved, including vets : Art Carney, Louise Fletcher, Martin Sheen, David Keith and Heather Locklear.

And poor Drew Barrymore. Such a sweet girl, right before she found hardcore drugs and sex in the late 80's, tries so hard to emote, to cry, to act, that you're willing to forgive her amateurishness, if not for the laugh inducing facial expressions she makes, as she lets loose her inner human torch by panting like a dog, and breaking out in a sweat, which naturally, causes her hair to stand on end. Suddenly fireballs appear. Look out bad guys. This girl is definitely pissed. KABOOM !!!