Review of Find Me Guilty (2006) by Markb. — 27 Mar 2006

Octogenarian Sidney Lumet's latest courtroom movie (based on real-life events and raiding actual transcripts for much of its dalogue) doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same series of breaths as his two genre-defining classics Twelve Angry Men and The Verdict.

In classic Roger Corman/ Larry Cohen low-budget fashion, the non-courtroom scenes appeared to have been shot inside somebody's house. The courtroom scenes are lit in such a way as to suggest thaty the film stock somehow got left outside in the sun for several days.

And whether Vin Diesel let his hair grow or is wearing a rug, his foliage looks only slightly more convincing than what the Hair Weave guy used to wear when he used to break into the Late, Late Show at 3 AM.

So why is Find Me Guilty nevertheless so compulsively enjoyable? Largely because its central character, Jackie DiNorscio, a deeply flawed but strangely endearing mob goombah (a working stiff similar in some ways to Al Pacino's character in Donnie Brasco, only with a lampshade on his head) who demonstrates Stella Dallas-like loyalty to his "family" during an incredibly lengthy courtroom trial, is, as played by Diesel, so unforgettable.

When playing amoral action figures, as in the Pitch Black movies, Diesel can be well-nigh unbearable, but when allowed to display an innate sweetness, as in Saving Private Ryan, The Fast and the Furious, and (apologies in advance) The Pacifier, Diesel is irresistably likable and funny.

Of course, every great comedian needs good straight men, and as opposing attorneys, Linus Roache and Peter Dinklage more than fit the bill, while Ron Silver delivers a wonderfully subtle portrayal of a by-the-book judge who nevertheless comes to care about, respect and even sort of admire DiNorscio.

There are certainly some ethical qualms involved with a movie that in essence manipulates its audience into rooting for a bunch of gangsters and thugs to beat the rap, but on the other hand, Find Me Guilty (like Twelve Angry Men and The Verdict) works as well as a training aid for future legal professionals as anything else: while it may be initially true that the man who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client, it's even more true that Diesel's DiNorscio innately understands something very important that nobody else in the courtroom seems to grasp: if a jury is being forced to slog through two years of seemingly endless testimony, one of the most effective ways to gain their favor is to KEEP THEM ENTERTAINED.