Review of Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) by Brandon W — 14 Sep 2015

The ironic thing between The Visit and Fifty Shades of Grey is that while I didn't really want to see The Visit, I actually wanted to see Fifty Shades of Grey, only to see how hilariously bad it can be.

So I rented it with my own money and watched it, only to realize that not only did I regret paying my own money for this movie, but I also regret watching this terrible film. Lets get to the good stuff already, Dakota Johnson is really good and brings out some of the humor from the dumb lines that she says.

The soundtrack by Danny Elfman is really good which I was actually looking forward to that in a good way, and it didn't disappointed me. The shots for the movies are good, including the sex scenes, and that's all the good stuff I can think of.

Jamie Dornan is terrible and just bland in this film. I was looking forward to seeing singers like Rita Ora act in this, but she was very underused which was pointless that she was even in this. I was very disappointed of how the script went, but I don't blame Kelly Marcel for it because I heard some sources that she was very disappointed of what the final result of the film was, and there were a lot of disagreements between her and the author herself.

The writing is very dull with not much laughable lines in there. The chemistry between Anastasia and Christian is terrible, and doesn't seem to be going anywhere. The plot is awful, as there isn't a plot at all.

I was curious to see what the sex scenes are like as the book is famous for those and the terrible writing, but the sex scenes are very safe, and just very standard. The characters are forgettable, although one of the things I hate, is that the movie portrays women very negative in that in order to get the man she want to be with, she has to surrender and weaken herself to the man, do what he says, and if she keeps it up, that's when she gets him.

The ending was so brief and so terrible that I was just glad that the movie is over. It's been a while for me to be sick of a movie as while Fifty Shades of Grey is not the worst film I've seen, it's definitely one of the worst romance films I have seen, it's actually a bit worse than Twilight which astounds me to a degree, and when there's going to be sequels coming up, I'm gonna be groaning as I'm probably going to watch them too.