Review of Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) by Faris S — 01 Jul 2015

SPOILERS.

The beginning where Anna goes to meet the infamous 'Mr Grey' is rushed, there's no anticipation to it. Jamie Dornan had questionable acting and quite possibly the cheesiest lines in romance film history. Dakota Johnson's drunk seemed obviously fake, like the kind when a twelve year old has a sip of beer. The chemistry between Anna and Christian was poor. The bath scene; you didn't feel the erotica of the characters, you felt the awkwardness of the actors. Just literally awful. Dornan's impression to be intimidating and sexy comes off: scary, creepy, stalker, odd, cheesy, basically far from attractive. The amateur orchestra trying to make this 'intense' feel fell apart. It is clear that Sam Taylor-Johnson's risks were a failure. Johnson's character looked like she could see past Christian's rich façade. The story was a well planned out porno. A rulebook for sex? Treating sex as a business deal? The screenwriters didn't use an interesting vocabulary- it sounded like Christian was getting Anna to join a cult rather than be his 'submissive'. Jamie Dornan would best suit the role of an "attractive" psychopath like Uncle Charlie in Stoker 2013 for example. Feminists will hate this movie. Fair does, this film has proven that an erotic Beyonce song can't make this film any better. On the whole, this film is a formal Friends With Benefits with truly terrible acting, suits and a higher budget.