Review of Fifty Shades Darker (2017) by Alex C — 12 Feb 2017

This second entry of a book/film series that is basically soft core porn for women, just shows how thinly written these books. At least the first film attempted to have a plot. This sequel has zero story. It is basically 2 hours of silly melodrama, bad sex scenes and bad dialogue. It is marketed as an erotic romantic drama, but there is neither romance or eroticism. If you're going to promote and show BDSM, then go all the way. Don't half-ass it. I've seen Game of Thrones episodes with more nudity and hardcore sex! A good sequel should progress the story and characters. None of that happens here. Here's the story: Christian controls every aspect of Anastasia's life, stalking her every move like a creeper, even though she left him at the end of the first film because he spanked her too hard. Anastasia hates Christian's possessiveness, but still wants to be ordered around and be spanked. Wait? What? These two people are quickly getting on my nerves. I don't know why women find this romantic. You have a woman who can't think or act for herself and a rich man who whines all the time because he can. Christian Gray is loathsome and Anastasia is pathetic. There is also a subplot involving one of Christian Grey's former clients that goes nowhere. These films make the Twilight Saga look like Doctor Zhivago. To add to the silliness, a villain that looked like they came out of a cheesy soap opera is introduced. The character is hellbent on destroying Christian's life. They are so over-the-top and vile, I might end up rooting for them. All this sets up a third and hopefully final movie, but by the end, you just want to submit and have the torture end.

Grade: D-.