Review of Femalien (1996) by Jason D — 14 Feb 2010

Femalien is the "story" of an alien species that sends one of there own, named Kara (the gorgeous Venesa Talor) to Earth to experience bodily pleasure, which leads to many softcore sexual encounters that are completely unconnected and irrelevant to the plot (or lack thereof).

At the tender ages of 14 through 16, Femalien was my sad, sad closest relationship to a girlfriend. At the time, being completely devoid of any kind of authentic porn or the internet, us young folk had to get our jollies off of softcore flicks, which aired late at night on the pay channels and were the biggest teases of all to our little brains (and littler heads) thanks to the lack of penetration.

Sorry to sound crass, but that was the way it was back then for boys, and Femalien was THE holy grail for a lot of us thanks to the film taking chances and dancing on the line between hard and softcore pornography.

Shamefully, a lot of sneaky jerks (specifically Blockbuster) tried unloading the heavily-edited one onto people. If you get a sick pleasure out of torturing yourself by watching softcore flicks rather than utilizing the glorious internet, and are dead set on taking on this little puppy, then MAKE DAMN SURE you get the unrated director's cut.

At my early age, this was awesome, but now, it's there for a good laugh and a reminder why I pay for top of the line internet! Those looking for any resemblance of an actual film within this should already guess that the plot is moronic, as is the acting, special effects, and continuity.

Great for a laugh though.